Just finished my high school and my last public exams. The feeling is … quite weird actually. On one hand, you feel quite liberated and it seems that a huge chunk of rock named burden is lifted off your shoulders. But on the other hand, the time where your career and life is shaped has come. The decisions you will be making at this point will mold your future. I read somewhere that people only make seven extremely important decisions in his/her life, and the first one is taken at this time period; the prospect is downright scary.
A2 is the hardest thing that I have ever come across in my life. Its so hard that I don’t even remember doing any other difficult thing! So I have decided to help out the future students who will be tormented by this psychotic killer. Here is my HOW TO PREPARE FOR A2 EXAMS:
1) Unlimited supply of caffeine.
Neither fate nor determination will mold your future.But caffeine will. Make sure that you have an ample supply of caffeine in myriad forms to sustain you for the entire length of the exams. Forget about the syllabus, the notes, and what not, BUT NEVER FORGET TO ROB THE SUPERMARKET FOR COFFEE! It’s also very important to get caffeine in various forms: coffee of different roasts, tea of various types (my personal favorite is green tea), energy drinks, coke etc. We don’t want the taste buds to get bored, do we?
Why is caffeine the holy grail for A2? Because, no matter how many hours you have studied painstakingly, you will forget everything the night before the exam and, therefore, will have to start from the scratch. Caffeine is the only way to keep the machine inside your head keep on ticking.
2) A friend with similar studying strategy as yours.
My strategy for the exams were simple: do everything the night before. During my A2, I took ‘Procrastination’ to a whole new dimension. And fortunately, I had a friend who did the same! The night before the exam, he used to call me just before starting the study extravaganza and we used to make all nighter routines. We planned what to study and how much time to spend on each chapter. Then we spent hours ruing our lost time and blaming Barclay’s Premier League for inability to study before. It gets very stressful if you keep on studying high intensity stuff for hours and knowing that there is someone else out there who screwed up as bad as you really helps. It simply reminds you that you are not the sole screwed person before the exam.
3) No Sports.
You must tell your TV operator to cut off all the sports channels that telecast football at least two days before the exam. Unfortunately, Euro 2012 was going on during my exams and boy oh boy did they vex my study schedule. It’s an addiction. No matter how much you tell yourself that you’ll only watch the game for 5 minutes and then return to your study table, you will always end up watching the entire game. And the lousy thing is, it doesn’t matter whose game is on; high profile or low profile, each and every game becomes a tonne more commoving during an exam! Instead of trying to avoid the games, I tried a different strategy but with the same outcome: loss of a good few hours. I sat down with my books open wide in front of me, determined not to waste the hours and simultaneously watch the game, but I ended up looking at the screen from my book every time the commentator seemed a little agitated. I read a single page for the entire length of the game ( the game went on to penalties, by the way). So you see, the best way to avoid this is to make sure your TV is full of hindi channels which will irk out all your TV watching mood.
Confused? You’ll understand what I mean when you’ll reckon that half of your hair is gone midway through the exams.I’m not kidding! A Levels has this baleful affect on the students where it ages you to the point where you contemplate pension and retirement. Your hair will start falling out like leaves in Winter, and your eyes will sink into the black abyss of stress. So you must be prepared to face the aftermath of the exams; we don’t want the pretty face to get the brunt of the exam,do we? You must gear up on anti hair fall products, acne creams, and blah blah blah. Ask your girl friend; she should know better. And if the reader is a girl then please post a list of the cosmetics everyone would need on the comment section. Thank You.
5) Be calm.
“Don’t be afraid”, ” Be cool headed”, ‘Don’t be tensed’ – How many of you are sick of hearing these stereotypical pre-exam advices? I go about the ‘be calm’ advice in a tad bit different way. Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? Isn’t life all about being happy? So why should we let our years go by being engulfed in tension and fear of the future? You get where I am getting at? Will our life be at it’s end if we fail? Should we let such petty issues like exams ruin the few good years we have left? I SAY NO! LET THERE BE NO STRESS! LET US LIVE FREELY. BE CALM BEFORE THE EXAM. Now that you have a unstressed head, you better pass.
You know what, it really doesn’t matter what you do. A2 will screw you over: either you will forget what you learned, or the questions will make you squeal like Justin Bieber in the exam hall. Even if you have a fantastic exam where you aced all the questions like an ultra nerd in hyper mode and are confident of at least getting an A, the mark scheme will shatter your false sense of security into oblivion. Edexcel examiners are ruthless morons. They should learn English from our editor in chief cause they have no clue what the question means. Happy dying, drenched in self loath and misery!